3 habits to boost passion in a long-term relationship
Last Update : November 8, 2016
Love and passion : how does it work ?
We tend to use both terms and synonyms although, are they really ? Love and passion can perfectly work together but they refer to very different things. There is love without passion in the same way there is passion without love.
However, the equation love with passion is one of the most desired wishes in couples. At the beginning of a relationship, the encounters tend to be very exciting but with time it seems to be that the more love grows the more passion decreases…
Long-term relationships tend to look for security, confidence, routine… but what about the adventure, the risk, the spontaneity, the mystery, the surprise, the transgression… the passionate wildness of attraction between two lovers ?
Can you wish to have what you already have ?
In a TED talk, the psychotherapist Ester Perel unveils the secret of desire in a long-term relationship. Perel states that one of the main problems of the so-called « sustainable desire » is that people tend to ask for utopical things to their partner. As Perel puts it « give me comfort and take me to the limit, novelty and familiarity ».
If these arguments sounds familiar to you and you have yourself been in arguments in which your partner has reproached you that you are constantly asking for impossible standards, you might find Perel’s words quite accurate.
But not everything is lost ! There are 3 basics steps you could follow to make sure you keep the fire of passion despite the possible storms that you might have to face in the future. :
#Kisses, kisses and more kisses
Indeed, one of the clues to keep passion alive in a long-term relationship is to kiss like there would be no tomorrow.
Kisses burn calories, increase room temperature, relax… they are good exercise for you face-muscles, they boost happiness and they can be way more intimate than sex. Get back to kissing !
#The Loss of Individuality in a couple
Romantic movies haven’t helped much in this field. They have portrayed love in a couple as two inseparable people that eventually should melt into the same person. There nothing more harmful in love. If you stop being two in a relation, how could passion work ?
Knowing how to give each other space is very important in any relationship. Desire tends to be activated from the distance, and it increases when the distance decreases… if you want to revive passion in your relationship, make sure there is a clear space between you two, a space that you can shorten with seduction.
# Under-the-sheets action
It would be difficult to talk about sex without talking about passion at the same time… but How does desire work ? Is it a question of quantity, quality ?
Several studies have agreed that the happiest couples are those that have a satisfactory sexual life. Although, the adjective satisfactory can become quite tricky. Does sex always come from desire ? Or desire always ends up in satisfactory sex ?
Apparently the key is that passion can happen before, during or after sex, and the end you just need to activate your sexual life to rediscover passion !